There are many questions, does life have a meaning? What do I need to be happy? My mind is scheming. For these answers, I fukn yearn, I study I analyse, just wanna learn, I need solution, resolution, minds in revolution, causin chaos n pollution, in a state of confusion, fuck, im stuck, gots no luck, feel like a schmuck, maybe me intellectualising, is jus a form of catastrophising, that aint surprising, my mind, needs summarising, do I have a purpose? Why am I alive? I needs a plan, needs to contrive, need self acceptance, need self love, need to be pushed, need to be shoved, need encouragement, need to be affirmed, now I realise, that im quite concerned, I care about living, jus want to be happy, that 2 much 2 ask? Sik of being sappy, I no that myself, is all that I need, have 2 accept it, gotta cede, girls cash n that, all those trivial things, aint nothing of substance, that they brings, yea I understand, that there an attraction, but materialistic n intangible shit, is just a fukn distraction, want to belive it will make me happy, far from the truth, having that idealisation, its flippin uncouth. Just gotta be patient, the answers probably wont come, n the more I try, the more will b undone, just gotta accept me for me, that most likely it, if I said that’s gon b easy, im full of shit, Pandora’s box been opened, so much negative shit released, last was faith, but it aint the least
Take a chance n get 2 know me, ull c so much love in this homie, and then mayb u can show me, a reason 2 live, ill tell u something bout mark Binsted, he wakes up everyday n wishes he was dead, yeah he gots a few screw loose in his head, but give this homie a chance, u c everyday is the same, I wake up n all there is is pain, fuk its driving me insane, y do I have 2 live this way? U c im walking this path all alone, don’t think im strong enough on my own, 2 walk the right path I need 2 be shown, will u b there for me? I need you 2 be my guide, I cant do it on my own iv tried, will u walk along my side? I need some direction, u c I slipped I fell, everyday all I do is dwell, I don’t wanna live in a jail cell, that’s where ima end up, I need a shoulder to lean on, a pedestal to pray upon, this battle needs to be won, someone show me the light
I need u 2 do something, can u do a favour for me? If you can do this thing, baby you’ll set me free, take away all the hurting, all the pain, cause this homie, wants to smile again, c iv become dark n tainted, and girl if u were mine, I would light up baby, baby I would shine, so what im actually askin girl, is do u want to be with me, I want u to know girl, ill love u unconditionally, now I wanna hear u say yes baby, cause im not gonna take u sayin no or maybe, now my thoughts n feelings I just outlined, now tell me baby, whats on your mind?
Who what and why, I ask these question and look up at the sky, who am I what am I doing on earth and why, tell me god I don’t mean to pry. Why am I living if im just living to die? No response, I give a deep sigh, help me lord I just wanna cry, but if he doesn’t hear me, why should I try? Am I all alone in this fearful place? Show me a guiding hand, please your grace, lord your love I want to embrace, to you I must be a disgrace, my past I wish I could erase, my heart has become dark and it I need to replace
It’s when things go to shit you start asking yourself a question, where am I going in life this homie needs direction, wouldn’t of made it if there wasn’t so much love and affection, I need to look in the mirror and do I like the reflection? Iv gots to make up my mind who do I want to be? I needs to open my eyes cause I needs to see, what does the future have in store for me? I needs a door opened but you gots they key. Can you help me gets back of my feet? Cause on my own myself ill cheat, cause on my own myself ill deceit, with u by my side I won’t accept defeat! You no u gotta change when all u do is cry, when ur so scared you wish that u would just die, iv fuked up hard now but dont focus on why, dry eyes chin up n change do it dont just try
It’s a sad reality, a tragedy, no love for this homie, not even from his family, everytime iv opened my heart; its been slashed, smashed, fukn gashed; right open, niggers hopein, barely copin, thinkin bout ropein, but I aint gonna quit, not over this shit, but I admit, love I jus wanna embrace it, step up n face it, ill be cautious but n case it; out, I jus wanna shout, whats life about, Iv been ratted on, spatted on, foes blood been splattered on, had enough; so im walkin away, I aint gonna stay, ok! Sick n tired of this stuff, sick n tired of waklin round tough, so whats my life’s been rough, I got a low pair, I got dealt duces, new life, is what this homie chooses, no more, fukn excuses, im breakin free, do u follow me, opened my eyes now I see, you cant stop me, iv been burnt, lessons been learnt, should find love, but im bein inert, stay the fuck outta my way, unless u wanna lose ya life 2 day, enemies, ill make u pay, im blockin everything out, with anger n rage, my whole life, iv been livin on that page, I need magic, where’s my sage, I don’t like bein loco, I jus wanna let go, no need to put homies on show, I needs a good girl, n not some hoe, no more, drugs bein wracked, gots 2 get a job, n not b sacked, no more, walkin round with my glock compact, I jus wanna practise compassion, n that’s a fact, but I gets angry, n I jus react, I get mad n I holler, rob homies n take there dollar, part of me still wants to be a baller